We’ve Got to Get Back to the Garden

As we slide into global technocratic tyranny, billionaires are buying up farmland, states are banning backyard storage of rainwater and multinationals are securing patents to push their genetically-modified frankenseeds and restrict access to all others.

Food aid and control of agriculture has always been a weapon in the eugenics arsenal of the colonial powers. Right now, the target of cynical social engineers is not just the struggling economies of the developing world but the post-industrial domestic terrorism carried out (mostly on good days) by middle-aged and elderly ladies and gentlemen pottering about their allotments and gardens – or even by busy working mums and dads growing tomatoes on the windowsill.    

Plants are political, now more than ever. Growing your own means that you can:

  1. Feed your household without relying on the state-controlled market
  2. Make sure that your food is free from carcinogenic and hormone-altering chemicals
  3. Participate in an informal local economy of exchange

Bill Gates doesn’t want you doing any of those (which is reason enough to keep doing all of them) and neither does your “Build Back Better” UN rainbow goals-controlled local and state authorities, despite all their rhetoric about sustainable this and environmental that.

Did you know that an infamous daughter of Rupert Maxwell was green, green, green leading a Clinton Foundation environmental initiative? Until she went to prison for child abuse. That her sister (taking after her father) was thick as thieves with Israeli intelligence and set up their systems on government software in the US and elsewhere? Are you aware that behind this nice ecological mask (yes, that too) is The Wrong Kind of Green?

It’s not just about the cuddly polar bears.

And, yes, that does go for certain princes and revered TV personalities.

Climate change? I honestly don’t know. Here in Scotland, it typically rains for 40 years with about half an hour of sunshine during which the lads (and some of the lassies) take their taps aff and turn as blue and white as our saltire flag. People of other colours tend to be more sensible. I haven’t noticed any change, except that this year is a lot colder and everything in the garden is a lot slower to even think about growing.

However, I promised an update and here it is. Grow your own!

My horticultural style is definitely weeds among the wheat so the garden is anything but tidy-looking. Veg grows supported by wildflowers and that keeps the pollinators (bees and wasps mostly) happy. Monoculture and straight rows are so unnatural and inefficient as you just spend all your time and resources solving the problems your mechanical approach to planting has created. Companion planting protects and nurtures – and looks pretty too. It just takes a bit of time to remember where everything is. Take that time. If you’re gardening in a hurry you’re doing it wrong.

Ben the cute tan terrier flaked out on the garden path with his head resting on the grass

The potatoes are coming up, beside the basil where the tomatoes were last year.

Potatoes growing among basil and wildflowers

They’re happily growing next to foxgloves this year on the other side of my first raised bed.

Purple allium, tomato plants and foxgloves

That’s only got chives in it, so far, as the lettuce seeds thought better of it and stayed snuggled up below the surface of soil. There are some strips of carrot seeds. I’m not sure they convince me (as my Spanish friends would say) as I don’t do rows, so I had to rip the strips up and space them anyway. I think I’ll stick to seeds next year.

Chives and marigolds

The next raised bed has got garlic growing madly and some pak choi that’s not doing as well (despite the jam jars and plastic bottle cloches) as the birds and the slugs are having an eat-out every time my back is turned. I might plant some in the greenhouse as a family member does that and they’re doing very well indeed.

Garlic, pak choi, wildflowers and marigolds

The big green box has got onions which I’ve already started eating as, even if they’re not “spring onion” varieties, you can just gradually harvest them and use as much of the tasty green shoots in soups, salads and sandwiches as you can. There are marigolds everywhere. They are the queens of companion planting as almost everything benefits from their lovely company. Unfortunately, they get munched as much as the pak choi.

Onions, pak choi, radishes and marigolds

The strawberries are so happy in their cold frame! There is some rocket planted there in the corners (as that was getting eaten up too) which may have enough filtered light to grow.

Strawberries flowering with mini berries

Behind that is a wee box I screwed together today, held in place by an old bicycle tyre that I decided to leave in place. It’s to protect the rhubarb that was only planted this year (so I’m leaving it alone) that was getting a bit of a battering between Ben the dog digging there and the wind blowing through the gaps under the privet hedge.

Wooden box and old bike tyre round rhubarb

Meanwhile back in the greenhouse, there are some happy flowers, like the begonias and pink petunia. I want to rescue another San Vitalia (creeping zinnia/ Mexican daisy) that I saw shivering on a shelf outside a newsagents as that did really well last year.

Begonias and pink petunias in pots in greenhouse

The cucumber, sadly, is really struggling. Little and often, I’ve learned, too late, is the way with water!

Cucumber plant in pot in greenhouse not doing well

The sweetcorn seedlings are growing well and the sunflower/ runner bean seedlings that the cheeky birds haven’t flown in to yank out yet are coming up too.

Sweetcorn seedlings in trays in the greenhouse
Runner beans and sunflower seedlings with wildflowers in trays in greenhouse
More of the same on the other shelf

The chilli pepper is okay too but those leaves seem to be on the avian menu too! They’re leaving the coriander/ cilantro alone though so that should be going into soups soon.

Chilli pepper plant and coriander/ cilantro

I did grow cress again and it did sprout up but the wee flowers are so pretty I just didn’t have the heart to chomp the plants! (I know.) So that’s migrated to the hanging basket to live out its days in peace.

Cress in hanging basket

The other herbs aren’t doing so well. Bit of mint and thyme and that’s about it. It’s just too cold!

Covered shelf of potted herbs outside kitchen

Underneath the trampoline (What? It’s the best thing for lymphatic drainage) the hostas and primroses are very happy indeed.

Hostas, primroses and wildflowers thriving under the trampoline

That just leaves the flowers I can’t name that I transplanted out below the rose bush that are quite happy amongst those purple wildflowers the bees love that I think are a kind of nettle.

Mystery big green flowering plants and wee purple wildflowers around the rose bush

The water butt isn’t quite doing what it should yet. Another trip to B&Q is in order to get the rest of the parts (quoting Acts of Parliament to the Millennial at the door as I breeze through, maskfree.)

Water butt and guttering

Finally, compost! I finally got round to building a big square wooden compost box to compliment the round plastic compost bin that the council donated.

Covered square wooden compost box

I think the reason we have so much trouble with slugs is that we don’t leave the compost on top of the soil long enough once it’s (almost) broken down.

Cherry blossom floating in wheelbarrow in front of round plastic compost bin

So, hopefully, the solution is to have two heaps and put it on the soil after two years not just one. That way it should be broken down better and can go on the soil sooner to give the birds time to eat up the slugs – which do great work chomping it all up in the heaps and anyway I’m vegan so I’m not going to kill them just cos they don’t always do what I want them to. Unlike Bill Gates, I’m not into population control.

Which brings us back to resisting this transhumanist agenda. We’ve got to get back to the garden!

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